Rum race

Next weekend's Bay to Breakers is San Francisco's famous naked race (as opposed to the naked marches, naked street fairs, and a generally high level of overall nakedness), though these days more people seem to be wearing costumes than nothing at all.

Don't like exercise? Don't worry. This year, the Million Pirate March gives you an excuse to drink rum, wear an eyepatch, and be generally more piratey than on other days. Also, wearing an eyepatch doesn't imply you have to wear anything else.