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Wild Tofurkey

It's almost Thanksgiving, and that means all the booze news is full of stories on what to pair with your turkey. Phooey.

As you know, the entire staff here at Alcademics HQ (me) is vegetarian, so I don't play that game. But I do like Thanksgiving, as it's a holiday centered around pigging out and drinking, followed by loafing around until your stomach stops hurting.

I like to participate in my own special way, by enjoying a healthy vegetarian meal of Wild Turkey bourbon. And this year, I thought I would pair it with food, and then I thought, why not enjoy it as food?

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I made three styles of Wild Turkey marinade for tofu, then cooked them all.

Marinade 1: A Bourbon Sazerac, dumped into a bowl

  • 3 ounces Wild Turkey 101
  • 1 sugar cube
  • dash of Pernod Absinthe
  • 3 dashes Peychaud's bitters


Marinade 2: An Old-Fashioned, dumped into a bowl

  • 1 tsp orange marmalade
  • 2 maraschino cherries, muddled
  • 1 sugar cube
  • 2 dashes Angostura bitters
  • 3 ounces Wild Turkey 101

Marinade 3: Bourbon Marinade

  • 1/2 cup Wild Turkey 101
  • 1 tbsp powdered ginger
  • 1 tbsp vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/4 cup soy sauce (next time I'd go lighter on this)
  • pinch black pepper
  • 1/2 tsp sesame seeds

Marinate pressed (water squeezed out) tofu overnight. Bake on lightly oiled cookie sheet at 300 degrees for 30-40 minutes, turning at least once. Remove from oven before it starts to look crispy or charred. If I had to do it again, I would make thicker slices and cook it on the lighter side, as the less it's cooked inside the more bourbon flavor is retained.

Results

The Sazerac Tofurkey was not so great. I didn't like the baked minty-ness that I think came from the absinthe. The Old Fashioned Tofurkey was delicious, as was the regular Bourbon Marinated Tofurkey.

I'd make this again in a heartbeat- and probably will tomorrow for actual Thanksgiving. I may also experiment with a Manhattan Marinade and a Bourbon Sour Marinade. Why not? The best part about this is that after you're finished, you can drink the leftover sauce.

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Camper's Book: Tonic Water AKA G&T WTF is now available for sale.

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