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Whisky Saves Yet Another Life

News from the BBC:

A man who became trapped beneath his sofa for two days said he survived by sipping from a bottle of whisky.

Joe Galliott, 65, lost his bearings during a power cut at his home in Yeovil, Somerset, and fell against the three-seater which toppled onto him.

Because of back problems, he was unable to free his 19-stone frame and remained stuck for 60 hours until a neighbour spotted him through the curtains.

He said a bottle of whisky, which had rolled within reach, kept him going.

"The whole settee tipped over catching me like a rat in a trap," he said

"I took a sip of [the whisky] and thought, well this isn't too bad."

Curtains closed

But after several hours without food or water, he admits, he became quite worried.

"It felt like a lifetime, you think you're there forever," he said.

The alarm was raised by a neighbour who had peered through the window, after becoming concerned that Mr Galliott's curtains had not been drawn for two days.

He spent five days recovering in hospital after his ordeal earlier this month.

Mr Galliott said he was keeping another bottle of whisky by the sofa "just in case."

This story teaches us two very important lessons:

1. Whisky saves lives.

2. This guy is dumb. Everyone knows that when caught up in a media storm involving life-saving alcohol, you need to name the brand to ensure yourself a lifetime supply of the stuff. I'd be all, "While trapped under the couch for two days, I only had only my Old Pulteney single-malt scotch whisky to subsist on. And while a bottle of Old Pulteney single-malt scotch whisky is always delicious, during horrible ordeal this bottle of Old Pulteney single-malt scotch whisky tasted like life-saving kisses from angels." Ca-Ching!

Get Camper's Book: Tonic Water AKA G&T WTF.