Fine Scotch Whisky, Not for Drinking

Usually when a whisky company releases a rare scotch, they pretend it's for drinking when they know it's going to sit on the shelf for 20 years in some rich person's collection.

An exception to this is The Last Drop, a rare blended whisky costing $2000. It was sold with a standard-sized bottle to keep closed and a mini of the same stuff to taste.

Now Jim Beam brands have released two scotches in the US that they're not even suggesting you drink. Laphroaig 25 year, which sells for $500, and Ardmore 30 year, which goes for $450.

I've had some older Laphroaigs and I love what happens to this smoky whisky with a long time in wood. Ardmore has traditionally been used for blending, though a much younger (no age statement) single-malt was released about a year or two ago. I had some older Ardmores at the distillery last summer and remember liking them a lot.

But if you read the press release, how much you like them is irrelevant. These are investment whiskies, we're told.

Rare, limited-edition whiskies offer alternative investment opportunities for those looking to revitalize their spirits portfolio.

“Those looking for a bold investment with a strong finish should consider whetting their appetite with fine Scotch whisky,” said Stacey Simmons, senior brand manager, Laphroaig and Ardmore. “The rarity and exclusivity of Laphroaig 25 Year Old and Ardmore 30 Year Old is perfect for those who are looking to add to their collections or simply enjoy a rewarding single malt experience.”

Horde them, hide them in your cellar along with your guns and drinking water and canned food!

Or, you know, drink up. Life is short.