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This Arbor Day, Plant Your Butt on a Barstool

Planttreesnow Earth Day is April 22 and Arbor Day is April 30th: What are you doing to celebrate? You could run out and plant a tree but that would be messy and dirt would be involved. Gross.

Luckily several booze brands make it easy for you to do almost nothing while getting the full bragging rights of eco-activism. That's so American!

Here are some ways you can help the earth while harming your liver:

ONEHOPE-Bottle-WP-SauvignonBlanc1VeeV acai liqueur hosts the Treetini website, where you can learn locations of bars in which to order a Treetini- made with Veev, natch. For every drink you buy, they'll plant a tree. But don't have more than 10,000 of them this April, because that's the limit!

There's a Chilean wine called  Root:1 that is sponsoring a “Together We Can Plant a Forest” program. Luckily you don't have to go meet all the filthy riffraff planting the forest. Instead you buy a bottle of their wine, and they throw a buck (up to $10,000) to the Global ReLeaf fund.

 Tru Vodka doesn't need no stinking Arbor Day to plant trees. They've done a tree for every bottle since they launched- about 60,000 trees so far. 

The well named PlantATree Wine plants a tree for each bottle of wine you buy. This may be only available in Canada, where they seem to have plenty of trees already.

Trinity Oaks (from California) has a different name but a similar program, planting a tree for each bottle. They claim over 2 million trees planted already.

One Hope Wine actually has several different hopes, depending on the wine. Merlot purchases go to fight Aids, Chardonnay money goes toward battling breast cancer, Cabernet fights Autism, Zinfandel supports troops, and each bottle of sauvignon blanc sold gets a tree planted. My hope is that they have a good accountant to keep it all straight.

Purus Vodka's website looks kind of broken but on it they make the very abstract promise that, "One precious sapling will be planted and nurtured somewhere in America for each person who registers on this website."

Camper's Book: Tonic Water AKA G&T WTF is now available for sale.

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